Zany Zzzzzs

For some reason, my already odd sleep schedule has taken a new turn. For a long while, I was waking up and getting up between 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM most mornings. It didn’t matter if I went to bed at 10 PM or at 1:00 AM, my body built an internal alarm clock that I could not shut off. Most mornings it was right around the 3:30 AM mark, so I joked that sleeping until 5:00 AM was like a luxury. Since the holidays, things have changed again and now, I’m awakening around midnight. Again, it doesn’t matter what time I fall asleep, that has become the usual wake-up time. I have to admit, however, that there is something oddly satisfying to me about doing my daily chores that early in the day; when 99.5% of the people around me are sleeping, I’m achieving! (I’m trying to look on the positive side here, folks – play along!) My favorite male gaming streamer is also on during the overnight hours, so I get to hang out there.

I’ve diagnosed myself with having the physical symptoms of depression. Usually, when I fall into a bout of depression, I have no energy or motivation to do anything, and my body craves being asleep; as well as the mental anguish that tramples all of the positive energies in my brain. I expected to fall into a depression this winter, only hoping that it was not as deep or long-lasting as last winter’s seemingly insurmountable one. Oddly enough, I’m experiencing only the physical symptoms right now. I think it may have to do with my finding a social outlet on the Mixer platform – having a place to ‘hang out’ with other people and just chat. This activity has allowed me to socialize, rather than just sitting in the quiet ruminating, with my mind working itself into a dither.

To be honest, I don’t mind getting extra sleep. However, I have not been able to break the cycle of waking up every 3 (or so) hours, and so I don’t feel as rested. Not to mention that, with age, come those more frequent middle-of-the-night bathroom trips. I do have prescription sleeping pills, which help me sleep more deeply, but they don’t stop the need for stumbling to the bathroom at least once, and I don’t get the 8 hours’ sleep I should be getting with them. I’m using them in a very limited way since, #1, they don’t let me sleep through anyhow and #2, they make me feel extra-groggy for at least an hour after I’m out of bed.

So, for now, my sleeping pattern is even zanier than usual. There has even been the passive thought that I wish I needed a technical surgery that would require my being put to sleep for 8 or more hours. Of course, I don’t really wish that, but the sleeping part of it would be nice!

Anyone have any great ideas for getting a full night’s rest??? I’ve tried relaxation music, lavender scented candles, etc.

Yesterday’s special, too. Probably tomorrow’s as well!

6 thoughts on “Zany Zzzzzs

  1. I wish I had a suggestion for you, because I would worry less then. My sleep gets odd sometimes too, but I guess I just push through it and hope for the best. It usually doesn’t last that long for me, and if it did I, too, would be seeking a solution. Not getting proper rest can only exacerbate your depression. I know this sounds odd, as I don’t drink myself, but maybe a glass of wine in the evening would help. Love you!

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  2. I know longer enjoy the taste of any kind of alcohol, nor would I want to depend on it to get decent sleep. Fortunately, my schedule does allow me to nap as much as I need to, at least enough to function. Don’t worry about me over this though!

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  3. Before I go to sleep when filled with anxiety, I will lay there with my eyes closed and visualize my problem people and worries getting on a train in the distance. I wave to them in my mind and watch as the train (must be an old train) puffing away and getting further in the distance as I feel a sense of relief that they are soon out of sight. I have also prayed at times for God to please be in control of whatever and have it work out for the best. That has worked too.

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  4. I suspected your sleeping patterns had changed! Deduced this from your activity on Mixer and the timestamps on my e-mail notifications. Unfortunately, I was a little caught up and couldn’t confirm.. and now you have!

    This internal clock, or “physical depression” you have, may be your subconcious mind trying to tell you something!

    You could try mindfulness and meditation. I can pretty much fall asleep on command simply by letting my worries go and visualize fresh air entering my lungs, replenishing positive energy in my body and breathing out the old and negative. If you want, i could give you some pointers!

    Liked by 1 person

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