Zany Zzzzzs

For some reason, my already odd sleep schedule has taken a new turn. For a long while, I was waking up and getting up between 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM most mornings. It didn’t matter if I went to bed at 10 PM or at 1:00 AM, my body built an internal alarm clock that I could not shut off. Most mornings it was right around the 3:30 AM mark, so I joked that sleeping until 5:00 AM was like a luxury. Since the holidays, things have changed again and now, I’m awakening around midnight. Again, it doesn’t matter what time I fall asleep, that has become the usual wake-up time. I have to admit, however, that there is something oddly satisfying to me about doing my daily chores that early in the day; when 99.5% of the people around me are sleeping, I’m achieving! (I’m trying to look on the positive side here, folks – play along!) My favorite male gaming streamer is also on during the overnight hours, so I get to hang out there.

I’ve diagnosed myself with having the physical symptoms of depression. Usually, when I fall into a bout of depression, I have no energy or motivation to do anything, and my body craves being asleep; as well as the mental anguish that tramples all of the positive energies in my brain. I expected to fall into a depression this winter, only hoping that it was not as deep or long-lasting as last winter’s seemingly insurmountable one. Oddly enough, I’m experiencing only the physical symptoms right now. I think it may have to do with my finding a social outlet on the Mixer platform – having a place to ‘hang out’ with other people and just chat. This activity has allowed me to socialize, rather than just sitting in the quiet ruminating, with my mind working itself into a dither.

To be honest, I don’t mind getting extra sleep. However, I have not been able to break the cycle of waking up every 3 (or so) hours, and so I don’t feel as rested. Not to mention that, with age, come those more frequent middle-of-the-night bathroom trips. I do have prescription sleeping pills, which help me sleep more deeply, but they don’t stop the need for stumbling to the bathroom at least once, and I don’t get the 8 hours’ sleep I should be getting with them. I’m using them in a very limited way since, #1, they don’t let me sleep through anyhow and #2, they make me feel extra-groggy for at least an hour after I’m out of bed.

So, for now, my sleeping pattern is even zanier than usual. There has even been the passive thought that I wish I needed a technical surgery that would require my being put to sleep for 8 or more hours. Of course, I don’t really wish that, but the sleeping part of it would be nice!

Anyone have any great ideas for getting a full night’s rest??? I’ve tried relaxation music, lavender scented candles, etc.

Yesterday’s special, too. Probably tomorrow’s as well!