Professional Overthinker

This title comes from a tee-shirt I saw recently in a sponsored ad on social media. The moment I saw it, I knew I owned the title, and so, of course, I had to order the shirt as well!

I’ve shared here before about my self-titled diagnosis of RMS – Racing Mind Syndrome. For some, it’s what makes it difficult to fall asleep at night, others (also) go into this mode immediately upon awakening. I tend to have both of those problems but I also go in and out of RMS whenever I don’t have something going on to keep me focused. I can be in RMS while doing menial chores that are done by rote – like washing dishes or folding clothes. I often call them daydreams, places in which I think about potential things upcoming in my life and write a screen play for it as I would like it to happen, should it happen. But I also travel into RMS thinking of the what ifs that could happen in the worst case scenario of things.

When I’m tired enough physically to need to rest or sleep, depending upon the time of day, in order to be able to still my mind, I’ve found a way (don’t ask me how) to turn off the conscious control of my thoughts and let them wonder where they choose to go. Most often, those thoughts are wandering paths of travel, flitting from place to place without accomplishing anything. Sometimes those thoughts are about setting – and controlling – a potential probability of a happening upcoming in my life. Sometimes they can travel around how I would answer a specific question that would be asked of me.

As a person who is a pleaser, I like to ask questions of another to get to know them better. But what might seem as an innocuous and innocent question to another has motive. Asking, “what is your favorite color?’ means I want to know what I should wear around you that will be palatable to your eyes. “What is your favorite type of movie (or book, perhaps)?” means I want to know what makes you comfortable to talk about to keep a conversation going without being awkward. And, to be honest, asking another questions also allows my introverted side to be firmly in place without having to reveal anything about myself until I feel comfortable enough to do so.

After those conversations though, my mind will engage in RMS to relive those conversations and look for clues that tell me more about the psyche of a person. My passionate interest in the psychology of the human mind always leads me there. What are the emotions behind the choice of a favorite color? How are people who choose vibrant red different from people who choose buttercup yellow?

Psychologists and other mental health professionals will try to explain to you why overthinking is unhealthy. I suppose that’s true. Overthinking can make you create problems that don’t exist, keep you mired in thought instead of taking action. Some of those professionals will say that overthinking is when you examine and reexamine negative thoughts, emotions and memories. And I’m going to say that can be very true. But for me, it’s not just about memories, things that have happened in the past. For me, most of the time it is a sense of playing out the future.

I do not have a poker face. My emotions are easily exposed by my face – by a look I get on my face or if my face and neck skin flush. I’m pretty sure that, in the game of poker, I will physically show whether I have a good or bad hand without being aware, much less able to control the signs. Knowing that is a big part of why I hate surprises. Opening gifts is like torture for me! While unwrapping, my brain is repeating the words “Control your disappointment” in my head. It’s not that I have a preconceived notion that I won’t like the gift, but what if I don’t? How will I hide that so the giver doesn’t feel bad? I don’t want to be flourishing with praise, out of fear that the giver will misinterpret it and start gifting similar items. My mind immediately races towards how long I’ll keep the gift before regifting or donating it without feeling too guilty.

I have been lucky over time to find places where I can just be “in the moment” – where the racing thoughts become quieted and I am focused and absorbed by what is happening. Online music streams – especially with my favorite music streamer (yes, you, Desiree, in case you happen to be reading this post!) – pull me into the moment and all thoughts are quieted. I often say that those streams are like therapy to me and I truly believe that!

I know I’m not the only overthinker out there. I read others’ blogs and see that the struggle is real. And, honestly, there are some benefits to being an overthinker. It gives me a place – if only in my mind – to be in control over something I probably won’t have control of in real life. It gives me a chance to process ‘worst case scenario”, to expect to be disappointed so that I can at least move quickly through and past the disappointment. Some would say that makes me cynical and a pessimist. I think of myself as more of an equal opportunity optimist and pessimist. I still look for the best in people and hope for only positive outcomes to things. But I’m also more prepared to deal with less than positive results. I like to think of it more like, “Expect the worst, that way you’re never disappointed” and then, when something better than that happens, you get to feel positive!

How to Identify & Overcome Imposter Syndrome — Dr. Eric Perry

This article really hit a homerun with me, and I hope that, by sharing it with you, you may gain some insight into a part of you that needs to learn to be okay with yourself and to be genuinely yourself with others. For me, an added benefit is is knowing that this is common and I’m not alone in it!

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” ~Maya Angelou At one time or another in life, we all have felt that perhaps we were […]
How to Identify & Overcome Imposter Syndrome — Dr. Eric Perry

Around-the-House Hacks – III

Just like nail polish isn’t only for ‘females’, baby wipes aren’t only for ‘babies’. I suspect, if you’ve ever potty-trained a toddler, you’ve needed a few of those wipes on hand, even though he/she is a “big boy/girl” now. The truth is, they make a wipe for adults for that extra clean feeling, but baby wipes are the same thing, and often much less expensive!

But there are ways to use baby wipes, both in and out of the bathroom, for more than just wiping bums. In the bathroom, baby wipes can be used to tidy up a dirty sink or shine the chrome of your fixtures. Just make sure to have a clean, dry cloth or paper towel to wipe away any streaks. This is a fast fix when company shows up unannounced!

Many models and cosmetitians in the industry swear by baby wipes for removing make-up! It’s less messy than pouring make-up remover on a small cotton ball or swab, and tends to be more effective than those removers, especially on eye liner.

Have a pair of patent leather or leather shoes that always seem to be dull? Baby wipes can bring the shine back quickly. A bonus is that the baby-soft moisturizer in the wipe will hydrate the material to keep it from getting dry and cracking.

Believe it or not, some brands of baby wipes – Huggies, for example – are strong enough to be laundered and then reused for dusting or cleaning rags for mild clean-ups. (Just in case it needs to be mentioned, please only consider laundering mildly soiled wipes for future use!)

Use a baby wipe to wipe up coffee spills from your carpet (I’ve spilled often, trying to carry a “filled-to-the rim” coffee cup from the kitchen to another room!). The wipe will both blot up the liquid and the stain. They do the same thing for upholstered furniture.

We all (hopefully) occasionally remember to shake out or use an air-duster product on PC keyboards to clear dust and debris. But that’s just half the job! We should also be wiping down the keys and other portions to get rid of dried on gunk and, believe it or not, the dead skin cells that build up wherever your wrist is supported by the keyboard. Your body oils and skin build up on surfaces you touch pretty quickly – you can probably see that by looking at your mouse! – and while disinfecting wipes work too, the chemicals in them will seep into the plastic over time.

If you and/or your kids tend to snack or eat fast-food meals in your vehicle, look for some trial/travel size packets of baby wipes. Not only can they be used for a more thorough clean than napkins, but remember, they can also be used to blot up any stains that accidentally get on your car upholstery. The trial/travel packs are perfect to tuck in your glove compartment. And ladies? It never hurts to have a small pack in your purse as well!

I hope you’ve found these hacks helpful, and I’m sure we’d all love to hear of any additional uses you may have discovered!

My Weekend with St. Jude

I wrote a blog post a while ago about my discovery of family called The Mixer Community. Mixer is a streaming platform which was created for streaming video games, but has since expanded to include streams of radio and music and just about anything you’d want to sit and be part of. I have been blessed to be introduced to live musician performances on the platform, and feel like, although I still visit other types of streams, this is truly the niche that speaks to my heart.

Twenty-four Mixer live musicians of many different genres of music and instruments banded together to put on a 72-hour continuous stream of music – 3 hours each – as a charity event to raise money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. To incentivize donations, streamers offered their song lists with a pledge amount needed in order to request a song. Other incentives, for higher pledges, included ‘live learns’ – where the streamer has to learn a song they don’t know while streaming during this event. Others offered a crazy bunch of incentives for huge donations like handwritten love letters, handwritten lyrics and CDs of original music, playing blindfolded, shaving their heads, dressing in costumes, adding layers of clothing… heck I can’t remember them all!

The original goal was set to raise $15,000. That was hit in about 12 hours. The goal kept being increased throughout the event – $25,000 then $40,000 and then $50,000. Each goal along the way would get smashed. The final 3-hour stream started with $42,000 +, and ended over the $50,000 goal!

I was not in every 3-hour segment, but I was in many of them. I discovered a handful of new musician streamers I didn’t know about and will since follow. I’ll admit that one or two of them weren’t my “cup of tea” but….. The two most important streams for me were Johnny & Heidi, whose slot was on Saturday evening, and Lady Desiree, my most favorite streamer, who finished the event. These are two streamers to which I have been loyal since discovering them.

I wish I could, in words, describe the emotions – the tears, the love, the joy – that was present throughout the event. It was truly that “you had to be there” to understand, but I promise you would have felt it too. Viewers at different times in different streams ranged from 200+ people to over 1000 people… all of them hyped and emotional and caught up in both the music and the experience.

In the crazy state of our world today, these musical streams have become a place for me to go to escape and just surrender to the moment and to just live in the moment. It is, in a way, my therapy – a place where I can go and just be authentically me (whomever I am at the moment) and feel safe and unjudged.

I could go on and on and on and on and yet, you truly “had to be there” to understand the emotional impact such a place can provide. From times of goosebumps to times of laughter (bald Johnny in a purple wig! a singing potato!) to times of tears, my heart overflowed throughout the weekend.

Each of these musicians donated their time, energy and talents. Moderators for the streams provided organization of song requests and donations, also donating their time and energy. We as a group who supported them are getting their accolades, but truly, they deserve our undying gratitude for the love for St. Jude’s and what it does for the children and for making it possible for us to be enriched by their talents!

(Oh, I also got to sneak away for another outside visit with my bestie on Sunday afternoon!)

Through the wonders of technology, I had the most incredible weekend getaway of my life!

A man totally in touch with his feminine side!

The streamer’s eyes and mouth – which did move when he spoke!

Cupping Therapy

What the heck. I wrote a post about spoons, so now I’m going to carry on that theme and talk about cups.

Cupping is supposed to draw fluid into the area; the discoloration is due to broken blood vessels just beneath the skin, much like a bruise. Cupping has been popular in Egyptian, Chinese, and Middle Eastern cultures going back thousands of years, but increasing numbers of people worldwide have been adopting it. Cupping involves creating suction on the skin using a glass, ceramic, bamboo, or plastic cup in order to draw the fluid. Chinese medicine claims that cupping improves the flow of qi (energy) in a patient’s body as well.

Until I had my first cupping session, I had no idea that cupping even existed, much less what it was. After trying a variety of things to help my right shoulder heal after dislocating it, my chiropractor decided to try this method on me. He was behind me and I couldn’t see what he was doing; he merely told me that it was going to feel like I was being pinched. Visually, I imagined some kind of metal instrument that would pinch my skin.

He applied the first cup and it took everything I had not to cry out in pain (I already know I have a low pain tolerance, but this hurt massively!). With the third cup attached, I was whimpering and close to hyperventilating. By the last one, my eyes were filled with tears and I was trying to push my mind into an out-of-body experience to get away from the pain. Remember, I’m visually imagining these big metal pinchers digging into my skin! So, he walks out from behind me and, while I’m thinking I’m dying, he has the nerve to ask me to start moving my arm! I just lifted my head and looked at him, the tears spilling down my cheeks! I had a tissue in my left hand, but I felt like my entire body was frozen, so I couldn’t even move to wipe my own tears away. So, after Dr. Craig got a tissue and wiped my face, he got me to stand up and he started moving my arm/shoulder in different directions. It didn’t hurt, and later he told me that the areas with suction will tend to go a bit numb. This went on for a good 8-10 minutes and then he easily and quickly released the suction and lifted off the cups.

(In my post entitled “Are you a melter or a chewer?” you can see a photo of the bruises left behind afterwards. Because of those bruises, I got a week ‘free’ from the torture for my next visit.)

Two weeks ago, he decided to concentrate on my arm, because that was where I was experiencing pain with movement. When he put the first cup on, I gasped audibly. The second cup got a very unladylike whisper in which I told him in no uncertain terms that it “hurt like a MF’er!” Yea, I used the words and while I wasn’t proud, they made my point! Finally, they all were on, and he decided it was worth photos!

**I swear you can see the flesh being sucked upwards!**

Of course, bruising followed! Last week, another session and here is what it left behind:

**You can even see some of the still healing bruise from the previous treatment!**

Fun this is not. Painful this definitely is. And yet, I will keep going back again and again, crying, swearing and/or gritting my teeth through the pain. Because it’s finally beginning to make a difference! The actual dislocated shoulder is fine, but there has been ongoing pain and inflammation in the nerves, soft tissue and muscles surrounding the area and down into my arm. For the first time, I’ve been able to find and maintain 90% of my ability to reach upward, as long as I don’t jerk it up. The throbbing pain I’d been having in my upper arm when I was sitting still has not happened for two weeks now. I still try things that I don’t think should give me pain and they do, but I’m taking more chances to return tasks to my right arm and hand that I’d delegated to the left side.

I don’t know how much longer it will take to be fully healed. As much as I don’t like cleaning chores, I find myself wanting to do them because I can’t! But I do believe that I am on the road to healing, and while it can be painful, I would recommend this therapy to anyone dealing with inflammation or knots in their muscles, nerves and soft tissue. Besides, I wasn’t planning to be seen in a bikini any time soon (or any time, to be honest!) so no one will see the bruises unless I choose to show them!

Wish me continued luck!

Around-the-House Hacks – II

This blog post is about nail polish. Guys! GUYS! Before you start making those cringing faces or decide not to read on, listen up! I’m not suggesting you start painting your nails and/or toes! (Some men do have their fingernails professionally filed and buffed, but not polished.) Remember, this is about hacks – other ways – that nail polish can be a handy thing to have. In fact, anyone who has basic tools should also have a bottle of clear nail polish, regardless of gender! There are also hacks for colored polishes, but for now, we’ll stick with clear.

Women of my generation, who lived before it became a trend and appropriate to go bare-legged, will most likely tell you that they were never far from a bottle of clear nail polish. It was the “go-to” whenever nylons got snagged or the beginning of a run in their hosiery. But there are so many gender-neutral reasons that a bottle of clear nail polish is good to have handy!

Clear nail polish can be used to smudge-proof important labels. Whether it’s the address on a letter or package that you’ll be mailing out that you think might be handled in inclement weather, or the labels of important information on bottles and tubes of medicinal items, a stroke or two of clear nail polish will prevent weather, water, even humidity from breaking down the ink that holds the important information.

If you keep anything in a metal container – like shaving cream in your medicine cabinet or paint cans in your garage – you know how easily moisture interacts with the metal and leaves rust rings. An easy way to keep those rings from forming it to use clear nail polish on the bottom rim of the container. No more worrying when family and/or friends are visiting and have the opportunity to take a sneak peek into your medicine cabinet!

If you want to keep buttons attached more permanently to your clothing, apply a coat of nail polish to the threads holding the button in place (front and back, if applicable). It keeps the thread from fraying, preventing the disaster of losing a button when you’re out in public. Make it a habit to do this with all new clothes you purchase as well as all buttons to an article of clothing when you sew a button back on.

Speaking of sewing, forget those silly gadgets that you can never figure out how to use when threading a needle. Simply run the cut end of the thread through the nail polish brush, rub it once or twice between your thumb and forefinger to tighten the threads and viola, it will go right through the needle’s eye!

Clear nail polish is a handy temporary fix to a windshield ding or crack! Working in the shade, dab or paint both sides of the ding/crack and then move the vehicle into the sun so that the polish can dry thoroughly. This will give you some time to get estimates and/or arrange a repair appointment without further spreading. Dabbing clear nail polish over any dings and chips of your vehicle’s paint will also prevent rust from forming at the site.

Got a threaded screw? Brush some clear nail polish on the screw head, insert the screw and let dry before using again! If you ever do need to remove the screw, just use extra pressure with your screwdriver in the reverse position and it should break the seal.

Oh, no! You notice a small hole has been poked in your window or door screen. Rather than attempting one of those repair kits or worse yet, go through the expense of replacing the entire screen, if the hole is 1/4th inch or less, you can dab on some clear nail polish. Not only will it stop any small bugs from getting through, it will also prevent the hole from enlarging!

These are just a few hacks that make a bottle of nail polish a good investment for anyone! I’ve used it on a large pretty shell I found at the beach to keep it shiny and protect its pastel colors from fading. People on low sodium diets often paint it on some of the holes on the inside of a salt shaker lid to limit the amount of salt that dispenses. It works on the underside of silk flowers and foliage to repair a small tear. A little bit painted on the underside of any decorative ribbon guarantees that the ribbon won’t fray.

Seriously, the uses for clear nail polish are only limited by your imagination! So make sure you have a bottle and the next time you’re wondering how to “fix” something, try it!

A Nurse Cries

A lot of this writer’s poems speak to me, but this one truly pushes hard on the “feels” button, and I keep coming back to read it again and again.

commonsensiblyspeaking

She cries

Salted pain hangs from her lashes

And falls upon her light blue smock

To mix with the sweat of long days

She cries

For each life as it passes

In a constant state of shock

As death takes count in virulent ways

She cries

As lack of sleep takes its toll

But she is so driven to care

Always a part of her giving heart

She cries

Respect not always given her role

Hidden behind the mask she must wear

For how her life has been torn apart

She cries

Leaning against the still woven part

Of nerves now frayed and threadbare

She tends the wounds of her own soul

She cries

To cleanse the mind, let some healing start

For she knows there is still need out there

And there is fate that she cannot control

She cries

Not for…

View original post 42 more words

Mental Health Awareness Event

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month (May), one of the partnered streamers on the Mixer platform, where I’ve been known to hang out, put together a special 7-hour (come and go as you please) event featuring other streamers telling their stories of dealing with sometimes physical but often invisible mental health issues. Its intent was to bring both awareness and compassion about these issues and how people have learned to cope with them.

I went at the very beginning of the event, as the music streamer I adore was ending her streaming session and sending us over there with a host to show our support. It was nice to be there with people who were familiar to me, and I saw a few other familiar people from other streams I also visit.

Several hundred people were there while I was. It was pretty awesome that so many people showed up offering their support. Some of the people in the chat were also sharing a little bit of their own issues, but mostly the chat was full of kind words and a lot of ‘heart’ displays, offering love and encouragement.

But here’s what happened….. After about an hour and several different people sharing their stories, that voice inside my head started rearing its ugly self, and I found myself questioning why I sometimes feel bad for the ways my mental health plagues me, when all of these people had it SO MUCH WORSE than I do! I listened to a man with Tourette’s Syndrome talk about being bullied and the effect it had on his mental health. I listened to a woman who had ignored her mental health so forcefully that it began to affect her physically and she now suffers with tremors in her arm as a result. I watched a couple do an almost comedic skit about anxiety and panic attacks (I’ve had one panic attack, many years ago now). And as I began processing their stories, that voice shouted at me, “Geez, Jody, you’ve got nothing to feel bad about! Pull up your big-girl panties and just get over it already!”

But that’s not really the worst of it. That voice, usually internalized and directed at me, now finds itself wanting to shout those same words to other people. I have a dear friend, whom I love and adore, who has repeatedly mentioned on social media that she “needs a pool!” She is an avid swimmer, and someone who works at keeping her body toned. And I understand on most levels how frustrated she is because an important part of her life has been sidelined for the foreseeable future. Yet, I can’t help but compare that with people who have lost far more and fight not to respond with, “Pull up your big-girl panties and just get over it already!”

I don’t like that person when I look at her in the mirror. It’s not who I am. In my own life, I remind myself daily to be grateful to have the things I need – housing and food and basic necessities, income that provides for my basic needs – and try not to focus on things I want. I mean, in my eyes, I really need a haircut, but getting one is not life-sustaining. I need to get my nails done because they are now so long that they get in my way, but I could do a botched-up job of cutting them myself and manage to survive. I desperately need a hug from my brother, but as long as I keep telling myself that it will come – in time – I’m able to hang on.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s important that we vent our frustrations – far better than letting them bottle up inside us. But we all are dealing with frustrations over the pandemic, not to mention the frustration of great political turmoil here in the US. For our own sanity, at some point, don’t we need to face the fact that “it is what it is” and figure out how to deal with it? Or at the very least, how not to let it control us?

I’d be very interested in how my readers are dealing with their frustrations and managing to cope. Please share in the comments. And hey, thanks for listening to me vent mine! <smile>

Quarantine Tips: Cry To Me

I miss the days when teardrops were just a blink of the eye away. These days, I realize I need to cry, but it doesn’t happen because I’ve built up a shield of numbness to protect my emotions from all of the drama around politics and pandemics. I look forward to the day when I will finally be able to sob my heart out!

Hacks from my Happy Place-XVI

(Thank you to my dear friend, Marnette [aka Prin] for sharing these tips that I thought were worth passing along!)

Today I want to talk about the cucumber. You know, that long vegetable with a dark green skin and a light green inside with seeds, also used to make pickles. Now personally, I do not like either the taste or the scent of cucumber, so you won’t actually find them in my kitchen (or anywhere else in my house!). But for those of you who DO like cucumbers, here are some nifty things to know about them!

Feeling tired in the afternoon? Put down the coffee, caffeinated soda or energy drink and pick up a cucumber. In addition to the many B vitamins, cucumbers are also a good source of carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give
off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes. The phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explorers for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

Just finished a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the
shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm your fingers or fingernails while you clean.

Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, and it also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!