Pictures similar to the one above appear now and again across social media platforms, always asking the question, “What is WRONG with this picture?” Each time it is done, the point made is taken but it’s so subtle that it doesn’t upset us. Because, except for those who are extremely biased, there IS nothing wrong with this picture.
The dictionary defines the word perception as: “the act or faculty of perceiving, or apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.” Cognition is defined as: “the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses.”
It immediately brings to mind the realization that racism is not genetic; racism is something that it taught by racists. Those who perceive racism teach others through cognizant thought about racism. Like much of our lives, how and why we perceive, hence believe, anything is taught to us by others. We accept that our parents teach us such things as manners, respect, etc. We respect that teachers teach us the 3 R’s – reading, writing and ‘rithmetic. We accept what we learn in history as being fact because someone long before us, whom was trusted, passed down the information through the generations. We accept our faith – our religious tenants – without proof, as we were taught to believe by others who believed.
But do we need to hold onto those beliefs throughout life? One of the silly questions I ask from time to time is, “Why is a pencil a pencil? Why isn’t it a cow?” I do that to bring up the point that we take for granted what we are taught without question. I mean, who had the authority to make up the names we use to define certain objects?
This brings me to the post below. We are “taught” to read from right to left, from top to bottom. And it works for us. But what if we changed our belief about how we should read?
There is no better example of why it may be right to question how our perception can change something. No, I’m not saying that we should read differently than we have been taught. I’m simply saying that we have the right to question certain perceptions. We may be taught to be racist, but if that teaching is not akin to our own morals and values, we have the right to “unlearn” it.
We may be defined often enough as ‘fat’, ‘lazy’, ‘worthless’, etc. that we learn to believe that. But what is learned can be unlearned, simply by changing our perceptions. And that has to start inside of ourselves. We are responsible to accept – or change – our perceptions about anything. And we don’t need anyone else to agree with us.
I encourage each of you to spend some time thinking about how you perceive things – in yourself and in others – and question if those perceptions work for you. If so, that’s great! If not, you need to spend some time in self-talk and change them. It’s your right!
I want to use this article to talk specifically about one item. That item is mashed potatoes.
I grew up with mashed potatoes being a staple as a side dish. Potatoes are relatively inexpensive at any time of the year and the fact that they are a product filled with starch means that they are very filling, always good for the budget-conscious.
The process I learned growing up about making them was pretty basic. Peel and dice the potatoes. Put in a large pot with salted water and bring to a boil. Continue boiling until potatoes are tender. Drain. Add butter (margarine) and some milk and begin to mash (by hand or with an electric mixer). Add milk as needed to acquire the desired consistency. Place in serving bowl. Serve.
Now, there is nothing wrong with that process, and it is continued on routinely.
However, one of the things about peeling potatoes is that all of the vitamins and minerals are in the peel of the potato, not in the meat of it. Once a potato has been peeled, it has pretty much lost any of its nutritional value. Perhaps that is why we see restaurants starting to use red or fingerling potatoes – any potato that has a very thin skin – and leaving some, or all, of the skin on the potato for boiling and serving.
Here’s my thing about that, and why I love it so much. You see, in addition to keeping some nutritional value, I’ve begun to abhor the task of peeling and dicing potatoes. It’s such a time-consuming and monotonous chore! I’ve been lucky enough to discover that my bestie’s husband likes this chore (probably because he likes to nibble on raw potato pieces while he’s doing it!), and this has allowed me the freedom of not feeling like I’m a slave to it!
My bestie is lactose-intolerant. (My bestie is also intolerant of having to cook, by the way!) Since we do Thanksgiving and Christmas together, it is my task to do the actual mashing of the potatoes without using milk. And this is not a problem! You see, one day when I was watching Rachel Raye, she talked about using the potato water instead of milk, suggesting that the potato water is full of the potato flavor. I tried it – and she was right! The actual flavor of the potato was much more prominent and added a vibrancy to the taste! I’ve been making them that way ever since!
Now, I admit, I’m still lazy about the peeling potatoes process, so I have succumbed to the instant potatoes method for myself. If I’m going to be covering the potatoes with something like gravy, or the sauerkraut from pork and sauerkraut, the potatoes assume that flavor, and it all works out. When I really DO want the flavor or real mashed potatoes, I simply use red potatoes and leave the skins on because, they are very thin skins and because, I’m keeping the nutritional value. Win-Win!
I know, from experience, that when you are going to go through the task of making real mashed potatoes, you make more than you anticipate needing to feed however many people you are feeding! Pennsylvania Dutch cooking is not about “waste not, want not” – it’s about “food aplenty” and “leftovers”! So, what can you do with leftover mashed potatoes?
Of course, they can be re-heated via the microwave or in a saucepan with a little extra butter (margarine) to re-moisten them. But how many days in a row do you want them again, especially when you’ve finished off the rest of the leftovers from the original meal? Now what?
The answer is two words: Potato Cakes. Potato cakes are basically leftover mashed potatoes, with a few extra ingredients, turned into a batter that you make like pancakes! The basic recipe is one cup of flour for two cups of potatoes (you can guesstimate this without measuring the potatoes) and one egg for each two cups of potatoes. From there, you can make different varieties. As a side dish to another entrée, add chopped onion (optional), salt, pepper and any other seasonings you feel are appropriate. For example, you can add Italian seasoning if you are serving them with something that it tomato-sauce based. You can actually turn them into breakfast by adding a little bit of vanilla to the batter, (omitting the salt, pepper and onions) and serve with syrup. Get creative and add some blueberries or chocolate chips or whatever else you might put in pancake batter! If you have a lot of leftover mashed potatoes, mix them thoroughly with the flour and egg and then divide – make a batch of savory AND a batch of sweet! The batter can be refrigerated for a couple of days, and you might just need to add a little bit of water to thin it back down before using!
Mashed potatoes do freeze. As with refrigerating, they may appear a little ‘watery’. Just stir them up until the liquid is absorbed back in and reheat. You can also freeze them in two-cup batches and thaw them out to make potato cakes. So go ahead!! Peel, dice and cook a whole slew of potatoes to make mashed potatoes while going through the effort, and you’ll have a variety of options for the leftovers without having the task of peeling, dicing and boiling again!
Happy Mashed Potatoes, my friends! Any way you make them, they are yum, yum good!
Good old creamy mashed potatoes!Crunchy potato cakes! Yes, please!
Just be present. Not thinking about the past, and not thinking about the future. Being present is an area we all struggle with in our lives. We constantly think about scenarios in which we have absolutely no control over. I just recently watched Kyle Cease’s free documentary on his site titled, “The Illusion of Money.”…
I encourage all of my readers to click on the link to this blog post and spend a few minutes reading it. I believe it could have been written by any of us – I sure know it could have been written by me! I hope you gain a spark or two of insight from it! ~Jody
Imaginary games of Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians. Cap guns. Western movies with John Wayne and TV shows like Bonanza and Gunsmoke. These are all things that my generation grew up with. I’d like to think that my generation came away unscathed by the violence of guns that were a seemingly normal part of our childhoods.
Now, these many years later, just mention bringing your Nerf gun to your elementary school and the authorities are immediately contacted. We automatically assume that a child who talks about a harmless toy that references ‘shooting’ to be a danger. How did we get that far?
Who remembers Silly String? Gosh, I really LOVED that stuff! But I got to thinking about it again and began to wonder why no extremist has gotten on a soapbox about how dangerous it is. After all, we used it for play as a way to ‘tie up’ people in it, and the act of bondage is violent. Okay, it wasn’t any more potentially threatening with a Nerf gun, but why not look at every toy made and see what its underlying threat might possibly be?
For Christmas, 2019, a bunch of people got on a bandwagon about the song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. Some persons or people decided that the lyrics were coercive to make a woman stay when she keeps suggesting she should leave.
All of those things, and more, led me to the title of this blog post: Have we swung too far? I applaud the virtue behind the idea of being ‘politically correct’, but am I the only one who thinks we have taken it to the opposite extreme?
There’s noise about what we call the winter holidays, and people want to be offended at the words “Merry Christmas”. No one complains about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa; if it doesn’t fit within their belief pattern, they still tolerate it without a stink. Why does “freedom of religion” not apply to Christians then? The US of A was founded on Christian beliefs and principals. The paper money and coins we spend all say, “In God We Trust”. Non-Christians don’t have a single complaint earning and spending this American money even though it goes against their core beliefs…. Wouldn’t that be considered a double standard of sorts?
This is my example of a bad day: You spill hot coffee from your freshly made cup all over the floor and your bare feet. You settle down to do some things on your computer only to find that your Internet is down. Oh, and so much for watching the morning news or anything else for that matter on the TV, because the whole system is down. You decide to do some household chores with your suddenly ‘free’ time. The washer overflows while doing a load of laundry. You can’t fix if yourself so call for a repair. The shop says they can get to you by 10 AM – the next day – so you use every towel you own to sop up the water and end up having to throw all the dirty towels in the dryer and dry them dirty. You open the freezer, thinking you’ll pull out that roast to put in the crockpot for dinner that night, only to remember, after looking for it, that you made it a week ago. At this point, you are liable to be more than just a little frustrated, right? So you throw your hands up into the air and shout, “Lord, take me away from all of this!”
Do you realize that, if one of these ‘extremists’ were to hear that, it might be in their perception that your cry sounded manic and possibly suicidal? So a call is made, and the men in white coats come and take you away for an involuntary admission into the mental health ward of the closest hospital.
An extreme example? Yes! But this is a perfect example of how our society has become one that sees every thing and every body as a threat of some kind. Unlike our judicial system, which avers that we are “innocent until prove guilty”, we assume guilt quickly, without knowing the intent or meaning of a person’s words or actions.
Listen, I’m a firm believer in stopping violence in schools and protecting our children. I believe that the qualities of being politically correct are more important than the flaws in being so. I believe that all persons – male or female – should be held accountable for their actions. But I also believe in a system that doesn’t assume guilt before it is proven.
In my opinion, we’ve swung too far to the other side – from being innocuous to certain behaviors and actions to automatically assuming the worst at times when those behaviors and actions are displayed. The world has its psychopaths and sociopaths and other trolls in its population, but if we start assuming that everyone IS one, we lose sight of the fact that there is much goodness in most of the people with whom we cohabitate on this earth. I, for one, refuse to let go of that belief.
If you’ve followed and read my posts for a while – or know me from there – I routinely spend some time in the same social media platform daily, often with the same crowd of people. I enjoy their give and take of banter and chuckles, and most of the time, I’m pretty much of an extrovert there.
My week hasn’t been overly “peopley” in real-life terms. It included only a hair appointment at an owner-operated hair salon and a routine doctor’s visit at a small medical practice. Of course, there was the run to Walmart, which I’d put off for about 3 weeks because there was nothing urgent on my list, and Walmart is not one of my favorite destinations. I purchase my coffee and paper and cleaning supplies there, so when I am getting low on something, I go there and purchase some of everything I buy there so I don’t have to go back for a while. I didn’t even stop at the Dollar Tree store next door, even though I usually shop at both when I’m there. Heck, I didn’t even make my usual weekly run to the grocery store!
And yet, I feel “peopled” out this week. I whizzed through my morning visits on the social media platform, but just didn’t feel the positive vibes hitting me. I even visited – on the same platform – some places yesterday and today that I seldom get to visit. I just wasn’t feeling it!
Unless I am under the funk of the dreaded depressed mood, this is a bit unusual for me, and I’m not sure what to think about it! Just as my brother, Brad, looks forward to his morning coffee-at-the-diner with his group of peeps, I look forward to this time to socialize with my peeps. And it’s not because I have some pressing chores or the like that I think I should be focused on instead!
Do you ever have days when you’re just not feeling it, but don’t know why?
Patience is a Virtue meaning: The ability to wait for something without frustration. It is a useful skill and a good aspect of one’s personality. The proverb patience is a virtue means that it is a good quality to be able to tolerate something that takes a long time.
Patience has never been one of my more ‘virtuous’ aspects. And, truth be told, I am much more able to practice patience while waiting for some THING, but I admit to being completely lousy with having patience for some ONE. This is something that definitely applies to me:
Word!
Mostly, I have little tolerance for people who behave in chaotic and insensitive ways. I mean, we all have our moments where we unintentionally say something insensitive to someone, but it is usually to someone we love and feel safe enough around to be human. When I see someone behave in a rude way, for example, being so lazy as to leave their shopping cart not put in a return carousel or returned to the store (one of my triggers!), I say something intolerant in my head, but I would never say it to the actual person. I think most of us have experienced road rage of some kind, and say things in our heads or out loud inside the safety of our vehicle, but we don’t openly display that rudeness.
But put people behind the anonymity of a computer screen, and some people have no trouble saying rude, mean and disrespectful things. My dear friend, Will, always shows the most amazing patience with these people, suggesting that these people try to pull other people into their chaos because it’s their only way to express themselves. He reminds me often enough that we don’t know what is going on under the surface of their behavior that is causing it. He has the patience of a saint in trying to speak to them in kindness and hopes to pull them away from the acting out. I, on the other hand, am quick to give a warning that the behavior is not appreciated and that there are consequences if it continues. And trust me, I am not making empty promises to them about the consequences!
I am not at all behind the theory that some parents try to treat their children like their best friends. That is not a part of parenting! It is a parent’s responsibility to teach proper behavior, and to provide consequences for failing to behave in a proper manner. I grew up with many rules of conduct in how to treat others, and I didn’t turn out too bad. There has to be a boundary to the idea of the Golden Rule where we just ‘turn the other cheek’, right?
When I really think about it, I have to wonder if why I struggle being patient with these kinds of people has to do with my empath traits. Perhaps I see the chaos in the behavior and act quickly in defense to protect myself from actually being pulled into it emotionally? If that is true, it’s completely on a subconscious level; on the surface, I just get angry that people get away with that kind of negative behavior without consequence which, to me, condones the behavior.
As much as my friend Will is trying to encourage me to gain patience with people in this regard, for the most part, I suspect that we are going to have to agree to disagree about it. I’m simply at a place in my life where I have chosen to step away from chaos and negativity. I’ve ended a couple of friendships recently in order to move away from that, and I’m certainly not willing to let complete strangers get away with what those friends could not!
And that is just another thing that I’m going to accept about who I am!
I’m standing at the Keurig, listening to its gurgle as it makes me a fresh cup of coffee.
My mind drifts, thinking yet again about how divided my country is because of politics.
My mind questions if maybe we need another 9/11 event to rejoin us as Americans.
I think about the casualties of that event, people who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I feel a tad bit guilty for even thinking that thought about a reoccurring event.
I then think about our armed services personnel, who have entered into battle to defend this country, and how, for them, it must have felt to have felled casualties during a violent battle to do so. Innocent human beings who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I feel ache in my heart that these brave heroes should have to live with that guilt.
And this, dear readers, is why I titled my blog “Ramblings and Ruminations”. This is how my mind sometimes wanders in a path far from its original thought in a short time frame.
Welcome to a clear view of my struggles….
A racing mind never gets anywhere no matter how fast it goes!
This begins the week where talk circles around this ‘upcoming’ holiday. As single by choice, I will not be an active participant in all of the activities that many couples take part in. No fancy dinners out, no bouquet of flowers delivered to my door, no mushy greeting card, etc. Honestly, I’m really okay with the lack of all of that – preferring, instead, to make it a day of self-care and garnishing love upon myself. For me, that means cooking myself a good dinner and letting the dishes go ignored. It means relaxing with a good book or movie. It might mean staying in my PJs all day. It will mean ignoring any chores that are waiting. For me, it is a day where I get to shower the love and attention that I give away so easily to others on myself for a change.
I heard some folks talk about their plans, and I could tell by their conversation that either they are very young or I am very old (or a combination thereof). One spoke of taking his fiancé to a hotel overnight. Another, when asked what he was doing for Valentine’s Day, said, “I’m doing my girlfriend.” Those kinds of comments got my mind thinking – – did my generation, back when it was that young, focus on a booty call as what the holiday was worthy of? I didn’t then and I don’t now.
Other conversations from a slightly more mature crowd focused on what HE was doing for HER. Listen, I 110% support showing the woman in your life some spoiling, and if you need a holiday in order to do that (the question is, why don’t you do it more often?), have at it. But what about the guys? Do the women also find ways (beyond allowing the booty call) to shower their men with love? I always did – I always thought of the holiday as a two-way street.
Of all of the years when I did have someone in my life with whom to celebrate this particular holiday, I remember two distinctly. One was the time, in my 20’s, when my beau brought me a half-dozen black roses. Black roses have always been my favorite flower. Okay, they were actually 6 white roses spray-painted black, but it was a huge deal for me! The other one was when I was in my 40’s and my partner cooked dinner for me at his house. I’m not going to knock that it was lobster tail, which I adore, but he could have made mac and cheese and I’d still have been happy just to have someone cook for ME!
I’ve also talked to enough couples with a lot of years together under their belts to realize they do very little on Valentine’s Day, if anything. I’m not suggesting anything big, but a small token of romance doesn’t seem to be like much to ask! Again, I go back to my suggestion in my previous post that “little things mean a lot”. Make a favorite meal – invest a few dollars in an appropriate greeting card – let them sleep in – take them coffee in bed in the morning – do a chore that usually falls on that person to do – – – again, the list is endless! To completely act like it’s a nothing holiday feels wrong to me.
I also talked to someone who is assistant manager at a restaurant/bar about my idea that someone should create a “Singles Only” event for Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve. These are the two holidays when singles are shunned from available events at which to celebrate! It almost makes me feel like a “less than” because I don’t have the opportunity to attend an event for those holidays as a single person. I am quite certain no restaurant is going to accept my reservation for a ‘party of one’, knowing they can get two people at that table and make twice as much profit!
So if you’re single, either by choice or circumstance, consider treating yourself in some way and acknowledge that self-love is okay. You are special because of who you are, not because you’re part of a couple. Eat some chocolate – buy yourself a bouquet of flowers available at almost any grocery store – go bold and look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud, “I love you.” Think about how relaxing it is not to have the stress of having to think up and act upon plans to make someone else feel special!
Fill your own cup full of love so you can nourish others with the overflow!
The title of this post is also the title of an old song whose first line is “Don’t throw bouquets at me…” I don’t recall the rest of the lyrics, but the story told by them are that fancy displays of gifts don’t hold nearly the value as the little ones. As a romantic, I’ve always said that I’d rather have a hand-picked bunch of wildflowers than a dozen of the finest roses. My philosophy behind that is that anyone can take a few minutes to call a florist and order a flower delivery with a typed card, but a hand-picked bunch of wildflowers delivered by the giver shows effort and time. In today’s world, our time is one of the most precious commodities we can give to another, after all.
In my last post, I talked about an emotional meltdown I had just gone through. In the days afterwards, I got a sense of what people with bi-polar disease go through. I was on a roller coaster of up moods and down moods and couldn’t seem to get my feet back to solid on the ground. Well, it was more like I was either super-up or numb, to be honest. A few days later, someone I know from an online place I hang out – whom we call “Monergy” or “Monster” – started showering me with online roses. He had no reason to do so – he wasn’t aware of what I’d been going through – but he did it just to show me he loved me. And yes, I started crying again!
Those tears, though, were entirely happy tears! Amid all of the self-doubt I’d been feeling, here was this person who had no incentive to show me love showed it to me openly and ten-fold! It was a “little thing” but it was the “biggest thing”! My heart swelled with that outpouring of simple love!
I share that with my readers to remind you that you, too, can make a difference in someone’s mood by doing little things! For your family, your friends, even strangers….. a small gesture that shows your heart may – and probably will – make an impact! I’ve said before that I’m an ARK rider – acts of random kindness – and the smile I get from the simple things, such as taking a grocery cart from someone who has just emptied by their vehicle and returning it on your way in always gets me a smile!
And for your loved ones, especially, shower them with little things! A sticky note for them to see, a text message that says something like “I’m thinking of you”, an extra hug to a child with a word of encouragement on test/exam day – an a million more – does so much!
I encourage each of you to think of a list of ways for you to encourage your family and friends and everyone else you come in contact with – and then DO IT! Get aboard the ARK with me!
Ramblings and Ruminations 