I stated in an email to my bestie recently that I was feeling apathetic. I decided to look up the word to make sure I’d used it correctly.
“Apathy indicates a state of fatigue and idleness accompanied by an indifference or an absence of emotion and desires. The apathetic patient doesn’t feel emotions, is indifferent to everything, and doesn’t feel like doing anything.”
For someone who is a strong empath and who also suffers from depressive moods now and again, I find myself at odds with the fact that this is exactly how I’m feeling! My bestie and I call it “meh” – describing “meh” as “I just don’t care either way.”
I’ve already discussed the need to become NUMB to the news these days, news which is either political (not in a good way) or about COVID-19 are at the top of every news show these days. I’ve figured out that every idea of both is filled with truth or lies, depending upon one’s own perception. People snarl and fight about having to wear a mask, while others wouldn’t be caught anywhere without one. People snarl, fight and make idiotic remarks about both of the candidates running to be President of the US of A in the November elections. Hydroxychloroquine either does or doesn’t help with coronavirus, depending on which ‘experts’ you choose to believe. Climate change either is or is not something to be worried about, again, depending upon which ‘experts’ you choose to believe.
I think another definition of apathy should include the words wishy-washy. We are a country that simply has become so feeble in stature in our need to be “right” that the need to be right becomes the only thing that matters. I guess my question is, how is it possible to not feel apathy these days? I am certainly not qualified to know which of the opposing ‘experts’ is correct or wrong in any of these things. To be honest, none of us are qualified. It comes down to a gut instinct, and that’s such an individual reaction that it’s almost no wonder why we are divided!
Meanwhile, I can’t help put struggle with what becoming apathetic means to me – it’s nice to have the break from always being highly emotional about anything and everything – my own or someone else’s anything and everything. It’s nice to have a break from the roller-coaster ride of emotions. But, I have to admit, it’s also boring as hell!
The monthly calendar has turned to August. My year-to-date, though my years aren’t always abuzz with activity, has been the most boring time I can recall. I’m joining on the bandwagon of understanding that the coronavirus not only brings physical issues, but mental issues as well. I know I’m bored because I’ve resorted to online window shopping and I LOATHE shopping! Worse, I know I’m bored because I’ve dug out my dance-ersize DVDs and have them ready to load up and play, and I HATE exercising more than I LOATHE shopping! (Light-bulb moment: I don’t hate exercising, I merely HATE feeling sweaty – which I can do on my own without exercise!)
Seriously – the “highlight” of 2020 has been dislocating my shoulder and having to deal with the pain, the strengthening movements, the cupping therapy, the Graston therapy and the ongoing issues. It’s given me something to focus on!
Anyone else suffering like I am?
2 thoughts on “Apathy”
I feel your pain. I can’t say that I have moved to completely apathetic as I still feel strongly about things, but I am tired of it all. Tired of the virus, the politics, the division, and the drama. Just plain tired. So, I am not there yet, but I completely understand how one gets there. By your TV and I will visit and we will make a highlight for your year!
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Somehow, knowing that you understand and are feeling the tiredness of all of the shit as well makes me feel better! I guess misery does love company after all? And I’ll move the TV up on the priority list!
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