My first post on this blog was on April 2, 2019. It’s only three years old, but they have been some of the longest years I remember. There have been, and still are, times when nothing I think I could write about is truly worth putting in print. There have been, and still are, times I want to write a blog that rants at someone(s) or something, because it’s the only place I feel safe enough to give true voice to my anger.
I’ve said it in posts several times that this blog ended up in an entirely different place than I imagined it back when I wrote my first post. It’s time for a confession of sorts – – what I wrote in the first few blogs were simply pieces I had written several years ago when I was in a relationship where I was encouraged to grow and experience, both think and feel. I wrote them almost as though I was “assigned” to task to express myself fully and without reservation. But the tasks weren’t one-sided; I possessed some professional knowledge that my partner wished to learn, so he was “assigned” tasks as well after I explained what he had to do.
The person who wrote those was in a different place in life. I’ve read back over those words multiple times and find myself sad that she got lost along the way from there to here. That experience, learning to let my thoughts become words and to be able to help another on a different kind of path, was truly one of the happiest times in my life.
I don’t think I realized that she was gone until I tried to continue to write posts. It didn’t take me long to realize that my mind doesn’t function as it did back then and I can rarely force it to. I’ve written a few posts that I am proud of, I’ve written a few posts that I am ashamed I ever made public, and most of the time, I’m writing simply for the enjoyment of writing and sharing my experiences.
As I look at numbers, I can see that I’ve averaged just over 100 posts a year. I think that puts me at the same level as many bloggers. And to be honest, I’m only counting those that I have actually published. I’ve never counted the number of posts I’ve started that ended up in the trash bin instead of published, but I’m comfortable saying I suspect it’s about 10 a year.
Anyhow, I really just wanted to say a genuine thank you to those of you who actively read what I write here, and an extra special hug to those who take time now and then to leave a comment. I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know other bloggers through this site and have a good handful of those whose posts I always look forward to finding. Many of these bloggers inspire me, many make me think, some make me feel, and some are always good for a chuckle. I am honored to be among you amazing writers and humbled that you find my words worthy of reading.
April 3rd will begin my fourth year into this foray of blogging, and I have no idea what it holds in store. All I can do is promise you that I will do my best to make my posts have value of some kind when you read them and take any comments you share to heart. Thanks for going along on this crazy ride!
Your blog is all part of the journey. I admire your discipline to keep writing in a ‘safe’ place to reflect and vent. Even though you are not the same writer and person you were three years ago, part of life’s journey is a retrospective life review, especially as we grow in wisdom. Keep writing!
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Thank you for always finding just the right words to keep me inspired in this writing journey. I love you, my dear friend and one and only true Princess!
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It’s strange how different we can be from the person we were just a few short years ago. My outer life has barely changed, with the exception of the pandemic of course, although I worked through the entire thing anyway. But my inner life…? My self-inflicted “exposé”, while terribly embarrassing, at least helped me work through my transition to “post-sexuality”.
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I’m learning to share some topics that, for me, are embarrassing and make me feel very vulnerable. As close as my brother and I are, we’re still learning things about each other through our blog posts! I am truly glad that you’ve been able to process the change instituted upon you, without choice. You’re probably never going to like that it happened, but you’re learning how to handle accepting and living with it.
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It’s great you and your brother can share your inner lives here. I don’t know if I could do it; I tend to compartmentalize when it comes to family. It gets messy if I don’t.
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Congratulations, sis! I am not sure that if your journey had not started three years ago, I would have ever found the road I am currently on. So, many thanks for that. It is my hope that someday I will embrace the bravery you have in sharing yourself and feelings so openly.
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