Instant Gratification

This post is something that’s been on my list to blog about for quite a while. It falls into the category of a sort of venting about a situation of watching someone ignoring an assumedly smart idea for living as an adult, and it bugs me extra because I become a rescuer rather than see someone I care about fall into bad times due to taking unnecessary risks. So, I’m using my blog (as I’ve done before) to get it ‘off my chest’ without naming names or calling out negative attention on anyone.

I think most of us have gone through a period – usually in our young adult lives – where the power of being an adult and being able to get what we want when we want it is pretty heady. As a young adult, for example, we want a vehicle to tool around that looks jazzy and (we think) makes us look jazzy for being behind its wheel. Our clothing choices take an upgrade now that our parents aren’t making the decisions for our attire, and, just like the car, we think makes us look ‘upgraded’. Oh, we’re young, now working and earning a paycheck, and we feel young, with plenty of time to worry about ye olde “saving for a rainy day” and not going into debt we can’t afford. So, we go and do and buy for that instant gratification without worry about any long-term consequences for spending freely.

And those of us who have fallen into that heady feeling usually come to a point where those long-term consequences rear up and call our attention to how that instant gratification we’ve been giving into do, indeed, has consequences. I admit that it took me several attempts until the light-bulb went off for me, and it took some time – and sometimes still does – for me to break the cycle of buying because at that very moment I seemingly truly desire what it is I am considering buying. Sometimes it’s a tangible item from which we can benefit but clearly can live a good life without owning. Oft times, it is the act of buying something itself that pulls at us.

Only when we get stuck in a place where our debts are overwhelming us with the inability to pay them does the recognition starts calling to us about those long-term consequences. It took me multiple lessons until that recognition was able to stay in the forefront of my mind and louder than the instant gratification bells and whistles.

And sadly, for some, that needy gratification becomes so strong that giving into it time and time again can cause serious emotional and physical issues to arise. Ask any alcoholic about (allegedly) needing that alcohol to feel ‘better’ in some way. Ask any hoarder whose need to buy and keep things in order to feel any sense of happiness. Ask an addict of any kind – gambling, sex, food, shopping, etc. – and they will tell you of the positiveness they look for from imbibing into that addiction.

I am a gambling addict. I’ve never shared those words because I haven’t been active in the addiction for many years. And, like any addict, I still have temptations to gamble when I’m around a place where gambling is present. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve walked into a casino, but I can tell you that, as I’m writing this, just that thought makes my heart begin to race. I’m not convinced I’ll be a winner, but when my imagination runs free with what it might feel like to ‘hit it big’, that’s a heady feeling that’s hard to ignore. The truth is, I am strong enough to be able to set and keep a limit on what I’m willing to spend on the chance of having my imagination become reality. But I also know that the money I could ear-mark for gambling could definitely earn me a good and positive spin by indulging in a different way. A nice meal out with good company, a trip to a thrift store, going to the movies are all enhancing options with a guarantee of gaining something from the experience. Gambling has no such guarantees. Still, I think about that $20 bill in my wallet and can try and justify how squandering it on gambling won’t break me financially.

But that’s my burden and experience.

When I was thinking about writing this post, it was because I was thinking about a person I know still reaches for instant gratification. In conversations with this person, I get reminded of all of the people who lost their lives on 9/11 and how they were busy making money and most likely saving some of it, only to not be able to use it now. I actively look for ways to save, however little it is. When I spend cash, I throw dimes and nickels in a jar, recirculate pennies in my spending, and toss quarters in a separate place for laundry purposes. I recently looked at the mounting amount of quarters I had, so I dumped them out, set up groups of 10 quarters ($2.50) which is the cost to wash and dry a load, kept $25 worth of quarters and dumped the extra into the jar with the other loose change. My annual coin dump at the back was $38.75. In my brain, it cost me nothing to save that money, so it feels like it was free.

However, the person with whom I was speaking would never attempt to save any ‘extra’ money. For example, this person had and took the opportunity to save $8.00 on a tank of gas. I mentioned how easy it would be to just put it aside because it was free money and a good way to start saving. The response was that the person would rather purchase a hoagie (sub for you folks not familiar with Philadelphian language) and enjoy it instead of eating the same old, same old stuff at home.

And at the age of this person, life should not be stretching from paycheck to paycheck, but it still is. And when some unexpected bill rears up, there is a scramble to find a way to pay it. But I can’t get it through that this skull no matter how many chances I get to do so. And it frustrates the heck out of me!

Folks, if you don’t know it already, please teach yourselves and your family members that there is a deep crevice between want and need. Also, take this piece of advice from me, who had to learn it as well: It’s okay to help someone out when finances are tough, but if you’re repeatedly doing more to protect another’s finances than he/she is, you are only enabling that person not to make changes.

This post has been difficult to write, mostly because it brings up my frustration about how I’m unable to get this important message across. So, I’m going to go take care of my addiction to coffee and end here.