Graduation Speech – 2023

I recently stumbled across a video about a speech given at a college graduation and was held captive to what was being said within just a few sentences. I couldn’t copy the link from it, although I was able to share it to my social media feed. Finally, I remembered that I hadn’t checked YouTube, and voila, it was there!!!

I am not going to say anything about it first because I don’t want to prejudice your thoughts by sharing mine. Please, please – take a few minutes from your busy schedule to listen carefully to what this young college graduate has to tell us… (Speech starts at 2:28)

Did you find yourself nodding as you listened, nodding in agreement when your already known beliefs were stated by the speaker, and nodding with understanding when you discovered a new and/or deeper level of understanding about her topic?

I say this in awareness that it is a generalization, but males tend to defend who they are by their current career occupation. They are masters of defining themselves by what they do. And I’m sure that can be traced all the way back to a time when it was expected that the man was going to bring home the bacon and protect his family. Those were his roles, and those were the things by which he was judged. The better he succeeded in those roles, the more remarkable he was seen in the eyes of others. But society has grown long past those being the only roles that men were expected to fulfill. What matters more in today’s society is who the man is as a total being – ability as well as sensibility.

Not that we women are so much better. If asked, “What do you do?”, we would surely state an occupation if we worked outside of the home, and then other things such as volunteer work, help with PTA projects, Girl Scout projects, church projects, etc. I suspect it is rare that either man or woman answers first and foremost with what are the two most important things to be actively doing 24/7/365. “I am a husband/wife and father/mother (if applicable).” “I am a caretaker for my ailing father/mother.” “I am a foster parent.” Taking care of others, in whatever capacity, is what I believe is the biggest role we can fill in our lifetimes. And while the ‘whom’ of where your caring goes may change along your life’s journey, the act should never cease.

Not to throw her under the bus in any means but my best friend’s emails to me are all about what she’s done since the last time she emailed me. Went here, went there, stopped here, stopped there, went to a haircut appointment, exterminator came for quarterly inspection and on and on and on. She is a perfect example of a human doing. Now that she is retired, she goes to various senior centers for various activities four days a week. She pretty much has a routine of what she does at each center, so every email reminds me of where she did her tai chi and where she went to play weekly bingo, etc. I mean, I’m glad she’s having a good time, but my inner sense is telling me that, after recently retiring and then losing her husband just weeks later, she needs to fill her time with doing because she’s never learned how to just “be”. I’ve vaguely approached that a couple of times with her and she’ll tell me that she’s having “fun”, but I still suspect there is more under the surface that she is just wanting to avoid.

And yes, my emails to her also include things I have done, but I always share a bit of a story behind it – excitement, frustration, whatever emotion the act raises up.

Meanwhile, it’s difficult for her to think that it’s okay for me to not have a social life like she does, going out and about.

I’ve never been a social butterfly that I can remember. When it comes to real friendships, I have always preferred quantity over quality. I believe the word “friend” is actually overused these days, and social media has exacerbated that fact. In my remaining time on this earth, I do not want to create a circle of acquaintances – of people I know through a commonality we share. Those are people who are often labeled by others as friends, but for me, my true friends are people about whom I know who they are as beings (and usually what they do as well).

Anyhow, I’ve gone off on a tangent, I know. I guess I just wanted to explain why this speech really connected so deeply with me and why I hope it might enlighten others to be more conscious about who they are than what they do. And now I’m going to go back and listen to that speech yet another time! Thanks for listening!