Vacation is over… ::sigh::

That’s right – I took a vacation! And I’m happy to report that it was wonderful. For an entire week, I did what I wanted to do, napped whenever the urge overtook me, cooked meals I was hungry for without making a lot of mess, and read to my heart’s content!

I spent no money on gas. I did not have to pack a single thing. I did not walk outside of my apartment building – and only three times out of my actual apartment, to check for mail. I let my air conditioner cycle to the temperature I set (a mild 76-78 degrees) without thinking about turning it off for a bit to save energy.

I did not go anywhere for this vacation. This vacation was not about a physical destination, but a mental destination. Because of my assorted medical issues, it is difficult for me to be physically active for long periods of time, and so there are always ‘chores’ around my house that need done but never get done in a timely manner. And, when I sit down for one of what I call my ‘rest periods’ – what I need to have whenever I feel like I’m zapped of energy – I can see all of these things that should be done and feel guilty that I’m not willing to go through the physical discomfort of pushing my body beyond its comfort. What I did do, for an entire week, was train and then allow my brain to look at all of those things needing done and internally say to them, “Next week.”

I had no idea how liberating this would end up being for me. It did take me about 48 hours to completely let go of the guilt and worry, but once I had that mastered, I truly had the best 7 days in a row that I’ve had in years! And the side benefit is that, moving forward, I think I have developed the ability to look at a chore that feels overwhelming to me and say, “Yes, but not today” and be okay with letting it go.

This was my first experience at visiting the “No Guilt Land” and it has felt so good that I’d like to move there! However, that’s not a reality, because clothes do need to be washed and dried and put away. Bathrooms do need to be cleaned to keep them hygienic. Dusting and vacuuming do need to happen to keep sneezing and other allergy issues to a minimum. And, least favorite of all, trash does need to be gathered up from different rooms and taken outside and down to the alley to put in the building’s bins.

However, one of the other voices in my head whispers that if I could just get everything that needs done in a timely manner, I could enjoy that same sensation that I felt for the vacation week without anything I’d even need to feel guilty about. That’s not reality – I can picture in my mind’s eye the vision of me doing all of these chores – but I can’t find the motivation to actually do them. And, not having central air conditioning and relying on window units, it’s even more difficult to attack chores that are in uncooled rooms.

My vacations over the past many years, when I actually took a vacation, were always in January (the slowest month in hotel travelers) and always to visit Ocala, Florida, home where my parents had retired to. I’ve not actually ‘gone away’ (more than an occasional day trip to Lancaster County with my bestie, which doesn’t count because I lived there for 14 years before moving to where I am now) since my dad passed in 2015. I’ve been hesitant to take any real type of vacation, because my medical issues change daily in the amount that they impact me. But, I’m pretty sure I’m going to make return visits to “No Guilt Land” at least once a year. It was a great experience for me, and I’m hoping will be a teaching trip for me as well.

Oh, and I’m still on vacation quite a bit from the Internet and until I hit a reading slump, that may continue for a while. But I’ll pop up here whenever I have something to say, I promise!