I’m not a big celebrator in terms of ringing in each New Year. Maybe I was 20 or so years ago, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been to a party for New Year’s Eve. The last time I even kind of celebrated it was in the home of my bestie with her hubby and son and two other friends. I took two games along for them to play, and some appetizers. They’ve all known each other for many years, and, at one point, all worked at the same place. So pretty much, they just talked about the people they knew from there and related a bunch of, “Hey, remember when _________________?” stories that I had no clue to.
I’m not a big drinker, either, happy, in fact, where there is no alcohol around. I can say that I find it funny when others are feeling ‘no pain’ and act a little crazy, but my inner control freak demands to keep itself in control of what I say and how I act, so I’m fine with watching others and enjoying their silliness.
Places that host New Year’s Eve parties cater to couples. Ticket purchases for the event are priced as a package for two, and for those places that are also hotels, the same is true with overnight accommodations afterwards. There really are no options for single people to socialize and celebrate.
I also no longer make a list of resolutions. I’ve found that, in my daily life, I’m already looking for ways to grow and improve myself without needing to resolve to do it. In fact, the older I get, the more I want to continue growing – learning new things about myself and seeing how to improve my interactions with others so that I leave a positive impact.
The one ‘resolution’, if one can call it that, is that I will continue to be more aware of toxicity before I feel its negativity full force. What I first sense as toxicity is usually someone’s rage. The tolerance I’m sure I built up to it during my childhood is gone, and screaming, yelling and swearing rants immediately make me uncomfortable. I’m learning how NOT to try to just ignore it, but to say, “I find your behavior right now offensive, and I respect myself enough to walk away if it continues any more.” I tried that once, just recently, and ended up walking away. In doing so, my action of actually leaving struck the person in a way that my words couldn’t reach, and I received not only a sincere apology, but a request, should it happen again, I simply stand up and say, “That behavior is ugly on you” in a strong voice. So far, it hasn’t happened and whenever I see this person, I’m immediately told, “I’m chill, I’m relaxed, I’m not going to fly off the handle.”
Beyond that, I have no real expectations of big changes nor big opportunities to come in 2020. If my health doesn’t get seriously worse and they don’t stop growing coffee beans, I expect 2020 to be as good as this year! And, overall, 2019 was a good year!
I wish all of you who make resolutions the best of luck in keeping them! And I wish everyone a safe and happy New Year’s Eve, whatever your plans. Here’s to 2020!